Green and Clean mom wrote a thought provoking post the other day about mom bloggers quitting. I wanted to share my feelings about this topic.
First, I think anyone who hasn’t thought about quitting isn’t human or never really got started blogging. There are many reasons you may want to quit.
Blogging is hard work. Blogging can make you vulnerable. Blogging can be hard to balance.
There is nothing wrong with quitting, and it may be the right decision for some people. I have no criticism of someone who stops blogging.
But if you don’t want to quit, I’ll address each of these points one by one and then share my tips for working through these issues. Consider it a How to Not to Quit.
Blogging Is Hard Work
Coming up with great content day after day, week after week, for months on end with little reward (at least, not at first), can kinda suck. At first you wonder, is this thing on? Is anybody reading?
For every comment you get, there may be a hundred or even a thousand people actually reading the content. If you judge the success of your blog by that, it will set you up for disappointment quickly. You may get one “fan” email for every ten thousand people who actually laughed/cried/moved by your post. If you’re in it for the feedback, it can get discouraging.
If you’re blogging for money, don’t expect to earn much your first 6 months. Of course, there are exceptions. And blogging can help you seque into other business and moneymaking ventures and partnerships. But generally speaking, the benefits of blogging, money wise, are on the back end. It takes determination to stay the course.
Of course, there are ways to make blogging easier. Some of those are mentioned in my 100 Top Blogging Tips report which you can download free here. One way to create more content in less time is with the skillful use of PLR (private label rights) content. You can see my recommended sources for PLR on my recommended tools page.
My advice for how to not quit:
Set goals. Know your purpose.
If you know what those are, you’ll know when you’re hitting them and it will be easier to stay in the game. If your goal is to keep your sanity and connect with others through your writing, then who cares if you don’t have rock star stats? If your goal is to make money, then rejoice in that very first $2 affiliate check. It will grow if you keep at it.
When you feel like quitting, keep revisiting those goals.
Blogging Can Make You Vulnerable
The best, most engaging and magnetic bloggers have a bit of transparency in their blogs. This opens you up for a lot of love, and a whole lot of crap too.
Case in point.
I get an email from an anonymous (they almost always are – people who have nothing better to do but spew their hate on the internet rarely have the cajones to put their name to their words) person who told me I should be locked up for breastfeeding a 6 year old, that I was a pervert and somebody call DFCS quick!
Now, the first thing. I have never breastfed a 6 year old. I am assuming the hate came after I offered a quote to a reporter doing a story about extended breastfeeding. (Nasty mean people like that rarely fact check. They rarely want to be bothered by the facts when their minds are made up. The dumb masses are like that.)
That kind of thing runs off of me like a duck’s back, but it can be quite upsetting when you’re new to blogging or don’t have a thick skin. For 3 years, I had a woman follow me around on various blogs I owned or places where I was guest blogging, leaving nasty, hateful, spiteful, personal (anonymous!) comments. I finally tracked down who it was, turns out it was a woman I had met briefly offline. It really bothered me when it was happening, but now?
I hit delete and move on.
Advice to help you not quit:
Grow a thick skin.
No matter what you’re doing, if you’re visible or doing anything well, you’re going to attract people who are lonely, depressed, have low self esteem or whatever, who want to pull you into the hole they slid out of. Try not to let it get to you. It’s about THEM, not you.
Blogging Is Hard To Balance
I could also have named that headline, “blogging is addictive”. It’s true, isn’t it?
I think for many of us, blogging fills a need. A need to express ourselves. A need to write. A need for connection. A need for validation. EVEN IF we’re primarily blogging for income, these other things are part of why we choose blogging (with its commenting) instead of only building static html sites.
For memoir/diarist bloggers, it may be even more of an issue to balance blogging with other areas of life.
Green and Clean mom referenced a blogger who quit because she was spending too much time at the computer (her words), was feeling stressed about it, and the blogging became an issue between her and her husband.
I have a couple of thoughts on this.
First, I would bet my left kidney that if she were earning income with that blog, her husband would have had no problem with it. That’s kind of the way men are. Straightforward. I would bet if he saw a direct benefit from the blog to him and the family (meaning, money), he would have been more supportive. But if she was spending hours a day plugging away at something that, while valuable to HER, didn’t produce an appreciable result to him, it’s understandable he would have an issue with it.
Not saying it’s right or wrong, just sayin’. It just is. So the answer would be communication. If blogging is free therapy for you, communicate that to your significant other. Make sure they understand how important it is to you. Show them the benefits they may not be seeing, in more concrete terms.
A lot of the times, the initial problem that presents (which in this case was “you’re spending too much time blogging”) isn’t the real problem. Maybe the real problem is “the house is too dirty” or “I want snoogle time instead of you being online late at night”. (Just being honest!)
The question of balance is a tricky one. What’s balance for me may not be balance for you. It goes back to goals and purpose.
My advice for not quitting:
Draw boundaries. Stick with those.
How much time you’ll spend blogging and on related activities, how many times you’ll get online during the day, how you’ll go about enforcing those boundaries with yourself, etc.
These are things you might want to think about so that blogging doesn’t take over your life. Even simple things like setting a timer when you get online, avoiding email and social media sites until after you’ve accomplished something, limiting the number of times you check email each day, etc. Those can go a long way towards helping you achieve boundaries and not get lost in the time sucking chasm of the internet.
When it comes to quitting generally, I’m not surprised that mom bloggers are quitting. People every day quit at all kinds of things for all kinds of reasons. That’s not a shock.
I also don’t think that the fact that some are quitting means that the rest of us won’t be taken seriously. The fact that many people in general quit blogging just means that the ones of us who don’t quit will be taken more seriously.
So what do you think? Have you ever felt like quitting? How have you pushed past that, or not?
Tags: Blogging, giving up, mom bloggers, quitting
Carrie,
Thank you for writing that. Although it was meant primarily for people who are already blogging or have a website, it is also helpful to those of us who are still in the planning stage. I really believe that some of those reasons(especially in regards to becoming vulnerable) can hold us back if we let it.
You’re so right Michelle. Of course, pushing past that fear of vulnerability is essential. That’s why having a business is a vehicle for personal growth. Pushing past “what others think” and other limiting thoughts is essential for a successful blog, business and life.
Hi Carrie – I like this article. I think having a goal and knowing what you want to get out of it is so important. I have a family blog that I have done for a couple years now and I’ve always known that it was just for me to have a record of my journey being a parent… if I happen to entertain people along the way, great. It has also helped my practice and lead into my journey as a craft site blogger, which I’ve just started working on as a way to help promote my Etsy shop. It is hard and sometimes thankless… but knowing what we want from it helps us define our blog and keep going!
Keeping our eyes on the big picture of why we are doing it is important. But we do have to set limits and finding the balance in blogging, relationships and household duties is hard. I’m already struggling with keeping up with the housework.
Carrie,
Thanks for stopping by and reading and commenting. I didn’t even know you read my blog..see I made your point a reality.
I think you give some great tips about not giving up. If bloggers know why they are blogging it is easier to not give up because there is a point and hours aren’t wasted, if time is used wisely.
great points! thanks for sharing them.
Carrie ~ what a great article! I have been blogging for a bit and seem to have a steady set of readers who are family and friends. I’ve struggled wanting to take my blog in a different direction – maybe reveal more of my thoughts and positions on issues if you will and have been reluctant to do so for fear of how it will be received. This post was encouraging. Thanks!
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’ve sorta hit a blogging depression and am just not feeling it. Thank you for writing this and reminding me that I’m not blogging for stats (and definitely not money), I’m blogging for my sanity.
I’m gonna start thinking about setting some blogging boundaries so I don’t get run down.
Thanks,
Abby
@sweetbabboo
Hi,
I’m not a mommy blogger as i’m not a mommy. But i feel you on this article, and it is a great topic. I like how you bold and highlight numerous times throughout the article, that “blogging is hard work”. Cause guess what? It is.
Lots of people create a blog, get traffic and get comments. And they are like (weehoo) i’m a big deal now. But then fast forward three months or so, and they are not quite as excited anymore. Because it is hard work, it is constant, and you really have to continuously do what you do. As far content, marketing, networking, seo, back end technical stuff, etc.
And the real test is longevity. Because “blogging is hard work”. Stick it out if you’re in the right niche, have a true passion for your topic, can write regularly, (and regularly – could be weekly or could be daily) and mix and mingle with other bloggers so that it is FUN.
Great topic.
Missy.
Good stuff, Carrie. Blogging is work. And you are opening yourself, your life, feelings, opinions and family up for criticism. It isn’t easy to have a thick skin for some. Especially on a personal blog where you might feel like someone is in your home attacking you, since we often feel like our blogs are our home online.
I’ve been lucky so far and haven’t experienced a personal attack, but I’m sure there will be one in my future. I think that if you’re thinking about quitting then maybe it’s a sign that you’re online too much, on your blog, on twitter…etc.
I’ve not known any Mom bloggers, that blog occasionally, write a post about quitting their blogs. It’s always the active ones, the ones who spend al ot of time on their blog and blogging. Getting burned out from too much time online might send you to the “quitting” side of things.
I “quit” (more like an extended vacation) my personal blog last year (2007/2008) for a few months because, quite frankly, I was dealing with a lot of really overwhelming and painful emotions from my Brother’s trial. On top of all the pain I was dealing with (I couldn’t be fun or interesting on my blog anymore) I was also very busy and couldn’t find the time I really needed to be active in the Mom blogging community. But, over all it was all the crap in my life that took me away from it.
I can’t just blog either. I have to also be part of the community, reading other blogs, leaving comments, tweeting with people…to me, blogging is about sharing our lives and building friendships, so I don’t like to be one-sided and only be the taker in the friendship. If I don’t have time to blog and be part of other Mom’s blogs then I feel like I don’t have time for blogging.
Anyway, good article. I’m going to read the other one you linked to.
Nell
Hi Carrie
What an incredible post. You are so clear, and definitely hit the nail on the head.
Even though I’ve been blogging for a couple of years now, I still meet the challenges you are talking about.
I’ve definitely thought about quitting, but I keep on keeping on!
I think my biggest reason for not blogging regularly is that I get sidetracked and want to do too many other things too….
Thanks for sharing such excellent info.
Diana
Carrie,
You’ve given some good tips on not getting discouraged. Now, we need to take them to heart…
Thanks for sharing.
“For every comment you get, there may be a hundred or even a thousand people actually reading the content…”
That is so true. I need to remember just because I dont have 90 comments, it doesnt mean no one is reading!
Thanks for a very interesting article that I have wondered about myself. Both in asking myself whether to continue, sometimes it seems to make no difference ‘out there’ if I do, or if I don’t, and wondering if others ever feel the same.
But I like to do it and it has really been handy sometimes when I need to find out when I did something or details on something etc. I’ve had to look up my own recipes a few times, it was great!
I’ve swung between trying to be very serious about posting schedule, doing it ‘right’ and making it part of a business, to loosening up a little, slowly getting a little more personal and just winging it more often. It has taken the pressure off and no, it didn’t seem to make a bit of difference :0)
In the end, if all I have is a chronical of the ‘blog year’s’ and me ‘back when’, it will have been worth it for me, and I like to think that somewhere ‘out there’ it has been of benefit.
You know what would be great? If you put your 100 tips on kindle format in the Amazon store. I bought a Kindle and love to read that sort of thing. If you ever do, let me know.
Good points. Valid info. Thanks for the tips. I started a blog and then quit-not intentionally, but it just faded. I had barely started. I want to start again-this and your free report are probably good starting places! Thanks!
I’ve been blogging for about 8 months and have contemplated quitting over lack of traffic- when you only get a few comments on a post- you think that it is all the people reading. But then I looked at my stats and it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought.
Now that I’ve been blogging for a while I will probably never quit because it is therapeutic for me and as much of a habit as brushing my teeth LOL
Great post!
Oh boy! I don’t blog YET and the term ‘hard work’ scares me, but it IS time to get on with SOMETHING! Don’t get me wrong, I am an at home Mum (intending to Homeschool) to a 3 yr old and have always worked hard before being a Mum, too. I know setting up any kind of business is daunting and hard work, not only just for the set-up period. I have been researching business ideas for a few months now. I’ve had to warm to the idea of hard work in an area I know so little about ie Internet work and usage, but this article, Carrie is just so realisitic and has helped me realise that I have to put in the hard work to be successful. At least I know there is a lot of support from people such as yourself and I feel like you have so much integrity and knowledge. I don’t take everything you say for gospel, but almost. LOL. Cheers and thanks on so many levels.
Christine